This is what writing SHOULD feel like. Now that I've given up on the idea of trying to do it all by thav one origin story and just started writing fanfic again, I'm feeling energized instead of drained when I finish a story or a scene. My head is filling with ideas and I want to jot them down.I just finished my first story of the day and I don't feel like it would be a chore to do more. Which is good because I have a LOT of catching up to do.
words written today: 965
Today i'm feeling full of hope. it's like some light is turned on inside of me and suddenly I know I can do this. I did it last year after all. I think part of the problem is thav people always make the whole, "something you can publish" comment. And don't get me wrong, I would love to be published one day. But that's not why I write. I write because writing is magic. When I write, the world makes sense. My focus narrows down to this tiny window and I know exactly who these people are and what they want. Sometimes they surprise me and end up wanting or doing different things than I thought they did when I started but that's alright.
There's that song from Pocahontas that goes "What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice. The water's always changing, always flowing." Writing is a little like that. Everytime you sit down to write, it's a little bit different. You're in a different mindset because of a million things and the writing is different. But it's the same river. it all flows from you. There's a sense of continuity and belonging and purpose. The next part of the song goes "Bu people, I guess, can't live like that. We all must pay a price. To be safe we lose our chance of ever knowing what's around the riverbend." And maybe that's true. Our lives do get a little safe. Mine especially. Maybe that's why writing gives me such a rush. When I start, I never know exactly where I'm going to end up. Half the fun is in not knowing, just going until you get there. Seeing where you end up.And this is the thing you can't explain to those who don't write. They have to find it out for themselves.
I remember once when someone told me they wanted to start writing. The first thing that popped out of my mouth was "Are you sure?" Because once you start, it'll always be there. Sometimes months will go by when you can ignore it but it'll always be there like an urge, like a yearning, like a drug you're trying to go cold turkey from. Once you tap into it, you can't completely control what comes out.
total words: 3223
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