Today has been...the kind of day where it starts out well and ends up horrible and confusing. On the one hand, my little brother is at home and that is always awesome. Just having him in the house makes me feel more balanced. And balance is one of those things I've been lacking the past little while, for the stupidest of reasons. That reason is Skyfall. My cousin wants to see Skyfall and, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind seeing it either. But my parents are so willing to rearrange things so we can all go see it an I have to wonder, where was all this effort the last time I wanted to see a movie with them?
Okay, I admit it. I'm a little jealous...but it wasn't a big deal until later. Later was when a family friend came over and they started talking about skiing lessons. I've been trying to get us all to learn how to ski...forever. I have always been put off. The fact that they're so excited about the idea now and making plans...it's hurtful.
I'm a little sick of this. I'm sick of being ignored and taken for granted. I don't want to feel jealous and I don't want to feel hurt. And I don't want to not want to do something just because they're doing it because of him and not because of me. Cuz that's just stupid and petty.
And yet here I am. Nano has come in some ways at the worst time. i'm so off kilter right now I don't know how I'm supposed to write. But maybe that's why I should write. It's a little confusing. Either way, I'm so far behind right now, it scares me a little. Earlier years, i would have given up already. I'm not sure why I'm not doing thav now. Maybe I don't want to let the other nanoers down.
No comments:
Post a Comment